Supporting Regulation Through the Body

PHOTO CREDIT: Cottonbro

On Episode 320…

This episode we’re discussing supporting regulation through the body first versus leaning on cognitive strategies to support children with pediatric occupational therapist and Advanced DIRFloortime® provider Stephanie Gagnon.

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This Episode’s Guest

Stephanie Gagnon is a pediatric occupational therapist and Advanced DIRFloortime® provider licensed in New Hampshire, New Jersey and Pennsylvania. She works through a DIRFloortime® lens providing clinic-based services in New Hampshire at New England Pediatric Services sensory integration clinic and remote services through Therapy Keeper offering occupational therapy and parent coaching, and also co-runs their parent support group with Kerri Ciskowski. Stephanie lives in New Hampshire with her husband, 2 kids–1 of whom is Autistic–and their wild 1-year-old black lab. When she’s not supporting families, she is chasing joy with her family. Running keeps her head and heart aligned and she loves all things nature.

Supporting a Sense of Safety

Supporting a child’s body and nervous system should come before relying on cognitive or verbal strategies during moments of dysregulation. Stephanie begins here because many children cannot access verbal directions such as “calm down” or “take a deep breath” once their nervous system is overwhelmed, highlighting the importance of beginning with co-regulation and bodily support rather than expecting self-regulation through words alone (Functional Emotional Developmental Capacity (FEDC) 1 of the Developmental, Individual differences, Relationship-based (DIR®) model).

Rather than focusing on a child’s age, Stephanie emphasizes considering their developmental capacities. Children first need to experience safety before they can regulate, connect, communicate, or learn. Caregivers can become that source of safety by lending their own calm nervous system through body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, pacing, and presence.

Looking Beyond Sensory Labels

Understanding regulation has evolved alongside advances in neuroscience. Rather than describing children simply as sensory seekers or sensory avoiders, regulation depends on whether a person’s nervous system feels safe in a particular moment. Sensory needs are dynamic and may change depending on stress, illness, sleep, hormones, environment, or where an individual is developmentally, reminding caregivers to continually observe rather than assume what a child needs.

Creating Environments That Support Regulation

Stephanie explains how modifying the environment can often reduce dysregulation before expecting children to use coping strategies independently. Simple adaptations such as dimming lights, reducing background noise, providing white noise, offering preferred sensory tools, weighted items, or crunchy snacks can help reduce stress on the nervous system. These supports allow children to remain available for connection and interaction.

Recognizing the Many Causes of Dysregulation

Stephanie and I listed the many factors that influence regulation, including sleep, hunger, gastrointestinal discomfort, illness, temperature, cognitive demands, emotional stress, and environmental changes. Rather than interpreting challenging behaviour in isolation, caregivers are encouraged to consider the whole picture and ask what may be happening within the child’s nervous system before responding.

Co-Regulation Before Self-Regulation

Stephanie describes co-regulation as the foundation for helping children learn to regulate themselves. Caregivers first provide the regulation a child cannot yet achieve independently, and only later introduce strategies children can eventually access on their own. The discussion reinforces that regulation develops gradually through repeated relational experiences rather than through instruction alone.

Facilitating Regulation Through Play Instead of Words

Rather than repeatedly telling children to breathe deeply or calm themselves, Stephanie explains how therapists teach regulation through playful experiences. Games involving blowing bubbles, moving lightweight objects with breath, balancing stuffed animals on the belly, or blowing up balloons help children experience deep breathing in meaningful, enjoyable ways that become accessible when they later need those skills.

The Role of Proprioception and Individual Differences

I asked Stephanie about proprioceptive input such as deep pressure and heavy workfor regulation. Activities such as pushing, pulling, carrying, jumping, animal walks, or using weighted blankets may help some individuals feel grounded, while others may find similar input uncomfortable. Stephanie cautions against relying on generic sensory strategy lists and instead encourages individualized assessment based on each child’s unique sensory profile.

Supporting Big Emotions Without Shame

I shared that I enjoyed a recent Neuroshambles podcast episode where host Mark Allen discussed how dysregulation may present very differently across individuals. Some children express distress outwardly through aggression or intense emotional outbursts, while others internalize their emotions through anxiety, depression, or self-criticism. Stephanie emphasizes creating emotionally safe spaces where all feelings are accepted while also recognizing when additional psychological support is needed beyond what families can provide alone.

Connection, Humor, and Following the Child’s Lead

Throughout the episode, the importance of relationship remains central. We reflected on how meaningful connection often develops through shared joy, humour, and following the child’s interests. I shared a personal story about an accidental misunderstanding involving a favourite book character, illustrating how seemingly small moments can become powerful opportunities to deepen trust, strengthen relationships, and support regulation through genuine connection.

Supporting Non-Speaking Children Through Multiple Forms of Communication

I asked Stephanie about co-regulation with individuals who have limited or no spoken language. Stephanie discusses responding to gestures, pacing, visuals, drawing, movement, and other nonverbal forms of communication while supporting children to access calming spaces, sensory supports, and visual choices. Communication is viewed as much broader than spoken language, with the goal of supporting children to feel understood regardless of how they express themselves.

Caring for the Caregiver

We wrapped up by focusing on caregivers themselves. Stephanie acknowledges the immense responsibility of serving as a child’s primary co-regulator over many years and encourages parents to understand their own nervous systems, recognize their personal triggers, seek community, and prioritize their own regulation. By supporting themselves, caregivers are better able to remain calm, present, and available for the children who rely on them.

Thank you to Stephanie for this valuable discussion. If you found this episode helpful and informative, please consider sharing it on social media!

Until next time, here’s to choosing play and experiencing joy every day!