On Episode 314…
In this episode we aim to give parents and caregivers a guide for being confident enough to trust in their intuition and what they want for their children when seeking DIRFloortime® practitioners to implement a DIRFloortime® approach.
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This Episode’s Guests
Returning guest, speech therapist Bridget Palmer is joining us from Buffalo where she runs a Floortime parent support group called Floortime Families. Educator Becky Gottlieb is joining us from New Jersey where she is the Floortime Intensives Program Coordinator at ICDL’s DIR® Institute. They are both DIR® Expert and Training Leaders who teach certificates courses for ICDL and mentor professionals as part of ICDL’s team.
Also joining us is ICDL’s CEO, Dr. Jeffrey Guenzel who is a DIR-Expert mental health and developmental counselor, consultant, trainer/speaker, skilled leader and clinician with a life-long commitment to serving others.
What Parents Are Really Seeking
Parents seek out DIRFloortime® usually as an alternative to behavioural and compliance-based therapies and/or because they seek a relationship-drive, developmentally-based approach that looks for the why behind their child’s behaviour. Parents are looking for connection, for hope, and for a way to feel in relationship with their child again, Bridget shares.
I shared that many parents come to ICDL’s parent support meetings with understandable concerns about what their child is doing or not doing and are often searching for ways to change those patterns. They want to understand their child and find connection. When that shift from trying to manage behaviour to trying to understand it begins, it can feel both relieving and unsettling. It asks parents to move away from familiar expectations of progress and toward something less defined but ultimately more meaningful.
From Directing to Noticing
A developmental, relationship-based approach invites a different role for the adult. Rather than focusing primarily on directing or teaching, it asks us to slow down and notice. This kind of noticing involves paying attention to who the child is, how they experience the world, and what their actions might be communicating. It requires a tolerance for uncertainty, an ability to stay present without immediately trying to fix or interpret, and a willingness to follow the child’s lead even when the purpose is not immediately clear. This is not a passive stance. It is grounded in careful observation, curiosity, and attunement.
Learning the Language of DIR
As this shift from directing to noticing begins, one of the more subtle but powerful changes for parents is gaining the language to describe what they are already sensing, Bridget and Jeff describe. Many parents intuitively recognize moments of connection. They know when something feels different, when their child is more engaged, or when an interaction feels meaningful. However, without a framework to describe those experiences, it can be difficult to hold onto them or advocate for them. Language does not create the insight, but it helps make it visible. It allows parents to articulate what they are seeing and to recognize when an approach aligns with their values and when it does not.
Considerations In Seeking a Provider
With the language to describe the process, it also becomes possible to reconsider how expertise is understood. In many systems, professionals are positioned as the authority, and parents are expected to follow their guidance. A developmental approach reframes this dynamic by recognizing that expertise is shared. Professionals may bring knowledge of development and clinical frameworks, but parents bring an irreplaceable understanding of their child. When these forms of knowledge come together, the work becomes collaborative rather than prescriptive, and parents are supported as active participants rather than passive recipients.
Understanding Behaviour Differently
Being curious together is parents beginning to see their child’s behaviour differently. Instead of something to eliminate, it becomes something to understand. It is seen as a form of communication, often reflecting underlying sensory, emotional, or regulatory experiences. This does not diminish the challenges that families face, Becky insists, but it shifts the starting point. The focus moves from stopping behaviour to understanding what is driving it and how the child is experiencing the situation. From there, support can be built in a way that is more aligned with the child’s needs.
Redefining Progress
As understanding of the child deepens, so too does the definition of progress that a parent carries. Progress is no longer measured only by visible outcomes or compliance with expectations. It may be reflected in small but meaningful changes, such as longer moments of shared attention, increased regulation, Becky shares, or a growing sense of pleasure in interaction. These changes can be easy to overlook, especially in environments that prioritize measurable results, but they represent important developmental progress that supports more complex skills over time.
The Parent Experience
The experience of the parents or caregivers is often shaped by layers of uncertainty, exhaustion, and, at times, a sense of responsibility for outcomes that feel beyond their control. This is not incidental. Many parents have been placed in positions where they feel they must get it right, and when things do not improve, it is easy to turn that inward. A developmental approach requires space for parent questions, reflections, and experiences. When parents feel supported rather than judged, it becomes easier for them to engage in the developmental process with openness and confidence.
Permission to Do Things Differently
Parents often need permission to trust what they notice, to prioritize connection, and to step away from approaches that do not feel aligned with their child’s needs. Professionals, in turn, may need permission from parents to move away from purely outcome-driven practices and to engage in a more developmental, relationship-based process. This mutual permission creates the conditions for meaningful collaboration.
It’s a Process
DIRFloortime® is not defined by a set of techniques, but by a shift in orientation. It invites both parents and professionals to move toward curiosity, to slow down enough to notice, and to remain open to what is emerging within the interaction. In that space, something begins to change. You may not see big changes all at once, and not always in ways that are immediately visible, but in ways that are deeply foundational. Over time, this shift toward understanding, connection, and shared meaning creates the conditions for development to unfold.
This episode’s PRACTICE TIP:
Let’s take a look at what DIRFloortime® means to us and if we have trusted DIR® practitioners or a community of parents supporting us.
For example: Are the professionals we’re working with attuning to your child and making you feel understood as a parent? Are you focused on the process of development and seeing the child for who they are and seeing them feel understood with those you hire? Do you have a community of like-minded parents you can compare experiences with?
I’m grateful to Bridget Palmer, Becky Gottlieb, and Jeff Guenzel for their time in recording this important DIR® Dialogues podcast episode. If you found this episode helpful and informative, please consider sharing it on social media!
Until next time, here’s to choosing play and experiencing joy every day!
