Neurodiversity-Affirming Support in DIR®-Informed Music Therapy

PHOTO CREDIT: cottonbro studio

This Episode’s Topic

Our topic for this episode is promoting agency and autonomy through the lens of DIR®-informed music therapy and how facilitators can practice within a more mindful, neurodiversity-affirming approach.

You can also subscribe on your preferred podcast app by searching, “We chose play from Affect Autism”

Thwarting Autonomy

Dane’s mindset came up from his work as a paraprofessional years ago. It’s an important role in the school setting because you’re with the autistic child for so long and you build a rapport and compassion and love for the child.

Dane has seen many well-intentioned people but sometimes at the detriment of the child’s executive functioning or promoting autonomy. He would see a lot of things the students could do or should be doing that the paraprofessionals would do for the child, such as passing them the juice box or helping them with their coat.

Benevolent Ableism

While it’s important to provide support, Dane continues, some practitioners tend to do too much, while others provide too little. How can we provide scaffolding so they can do it themselves? In college Dane learned about the term “benevolent ableism” that can cause people to do more harm than good when you are ableist or do too much for an individual you are supporting.

Dane has since been more intentional and conscious about aiming to be more neurodiversity-affirming. Ableism is having a pre-conceived notion about disability that includes a lot of “can’ts”. How can we support the autistic population versus thinking that it’s too difficult for them, and therefore not trying, Dane ponders.

Looking at Ourselves

We can expand and challenge ourselves to grow as people in our support roles by being with the person you’re supporting through challenges like a lighthouse in a storm. He uses the managing of self as a technique where you are aware of what you’re doing. Are you overtalking, being mad, overacting, or not being aware of individual profiles?
How can we support the individual in that moment and just be present whether it’s about regulation or engagement or something else. It’s a mindful thing.

Sometimes children have a really hard day. It’s compounded with many transitions. Sometimes when we act, we are robbing them of the opportunity to figure it out. It’s about knowing the just-right challenge and being there to support without taking over. We are so eager to problem-solve too frequently. Mike Fields talk about being comfortable with the discomfort.

Fostering a Sense of Safety

Dane shared the story of a child who came into his session one day uncharacteristically distraught in tears. Dane didn’t ask why. He gave him space, even though he felt the pressure of the clock in a 30-minute session. But at minute 28, the child had experienced everything and realized the session was almost up.

They did engage in a shortened session, which went overtime. There was a change in the child’s affect and it was a great moment. It’s not about the product, but about the process, Dane says, where he matched the child’s affect and let his presence support the child.

Dr. Gil Tippy talks about giving across this message that you know that, “You have within you everything you need to figure this out and I’m here providing this space of support for you as you figure it out,” while having your foot on the gas and brake at the same time. Dr. Tippy encourages practitioners to instill that confidence in the individuals they work with.

Dane continued that, at the end of the session, the child realized it was hard and maybe wished he hadn’t have had such a hard time because they enjoyed the shortened session and maybe wished he had more time. This might impact the next session. Dane said that it was a feeling of gratitude, respect, and appreciation. It’s about the trust.

Discovering the Child

Autism is more complex than just the observable behaviour. Dane is excited to know more about the individual differences inside that goes on inside that kids are going through. He may never know, but the time in the session becomes more impactful when he becomes aware of things he does that can harm or support the child.

Dane wants to find out who the people are in the child’s corner. He wants to listen in and get the information that is the most authentic. He listens to the lived experiences. He wants to know about their history. Have they been exposed to being directed a lot in past therapies? If so, he wouldn’t want to put a lot of demands on the child.

Dane watches what the child does in a session. How is the child moving or banging on a drum? Dr. John Carpente calls that the temporal space. His other mentor, Dr. Brian Abrams, talks about the aesthetic way of being in music therapy. He looks at the individual profile and if the music is too loud or too soft. He wonders what are the different ways of expression and preferences of each child.

Looking at the Opportunities

Let’s look at the opportunities, Dane says. He’ll tell colleagues, “You worry about the music. I’ll worry about the music therapy!” They make an infectious groove and he takes in everything people are doing and puts it in the guitar so they are making something together. He hears what others are going through and can back out if the child is hammering hard on the drums. It’s about a shared experience. He looks for the opportunities in the play which is the Floortime part.

Dane will go into a classroom with staff and students. Depending on how the class is set up, they might make a circle, or sometimes the volume is too much, so some are in the back relaxing while a few kids are closer to him. He tries to position himself to be in a space so there’s a flow between everybody. 

If there’s a circle, Dane is part of the circle, not in the middle. If the kids are scattered, he tries to think about getting group cohesion. He wants to create a space where the peers are interrelated and they’re all creating something together. He’s bridging everyone’s ideas. It’s one of his skills. It’s like jamming in a band where everyone can hear each other’s contributions. 

Dane tries to avoid verbal words. He prefers to use music. He might imitate a child’s actions and repeat it and look at another child with anticipation to see if they’ll copy it or add something new. He also wants to make sure the drum is in a position where a child can easily access it, if they want to hit the drum. The staff can model how to use it. He wants to start slow and figure out the just-right challenge.

Rethinking Facilitation

Dane shares that rethinking facilitation is about knowing when to step in:

• Are the kids having trouble with the activity? If so, why?
• Do they need more support?
• Is it a motor planning challenge?
• Will a physical prompt or watching a video of it help?
• Is initiation a challenge for the child?
• Do they need more structure or routine?
• Do they need more familiarity?
• How do we provide that opportunity for them to have confidence?
• Did you give clear instructions?
• Do they need visuals?
• Did you say something in the past that scared them to try again?

Let’s figure out how to get their intrinsic motivation to play, Dane suggests. Let’s find the satisfying elements in the play experience that provides that motivation. If they like Daniel Tiger, figure out what they like about it and bring that into the play.

It’s a process and there’s so much to learn, Dane admits. He tries to have an open mind and give the children the space they need. They can shine and show us their capacities with the just-right accommodation, too, I shared. Brains are wired differently and it’s about figuring out how we can we support them, Dane concludes.

Dane read the lyrics of a song about Pete the Cat since one of the children he worked with shared it with him. He had to look it up and figure out what the series was about and about the music. He let go of his perception of Pete the Cat and let himself be open to learn.

Dane says we can give all kids the space to shine. Your light, as a practitioner, is just as bright when you give the child a chance to shine. You’re being supportive when you’re letting them do something they can do. Sometimes you can back off and sometimes you can step forward, but be there and let them shine, Dane declares.

Being Strengths-Based

I shared that while Dane and I can’t speak to the oppression of others, we want to learn and be an ally to the autistic community. Dane says he is taking the step towards that. Giving that space and opportunity to grow and learn is so important, he believes. He thinks about the lived experiences from self-advocates and parents and professionals and thinks we should all listen to all the experiences to create a new culture.

He recalls hating math in school, but then realizing how it works in college and understanding it in relation to music theory. It wasn’t about math being too hard for him. It was about following his interests, and when he did, through music, he understood math. We can do the same with our kids.

I talked about an excerpt from Chapter 3 of my upcoming book, We Chose Play: Raising An Autistic Child to Thrive and Feel Understood:

“It took me a long time to embrace the strengths-based approach of Floortime, as I was often focused on the deficits I thought should be addressed. Now, when I look back at some of those early videos of me playing with our son, I’m amazed at the capacities he had at the time. Had I understood the Floortime framework and seen his strengths, I might have been less stressed and more excited to watch his development unfold. Since I was new to Floortime, I didn’t yet know what to look for. It has given me the gift of seeing our son’s strengths and understanding how to build from them. The more I practiced Floortime, the more I experienced a sense of self-efficacy as a parent.“

Thank you to Dane for sharing his perspective on making DIRFloortime® music therapy neurodiversity-affirming. I hope that you learned something valuable and will share it on social media.

Until next time, here’s to choosing play and experiencing joy every day!